by Shannon Caughey

I still remember things my coaches said to me—even though decades have passed since I played for them! Much of what my coaches spoke was constructive or encouraging. But a few instances remain lodged in my memory when a coach using their words to tear me or my teammates down. Rather than helping or motivating us, these words just hurt.

What a coach says is weighty. How a coach speaks can bring about significant good. Sadly, however, coaches often commit “fouls” in the way they use their tongue. Their words cause substantial damage in the minds and hearts of athletes. Let’s look at what God’s Word says about this “coaching foul” and consider how to instead honor the Lord with the use of our tongue.

James 3:9-10 addresses the power of our words for good or to bring harm: “⁹ Sometimes the tongue praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. ¹⁰And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!”

Out of frustration or anger, coaches say things that “curse those who have been made in the image of God.” Even if the coach doesn’t use literal curse words, what they say can belittle or shame an athlete. The coach may excuse their harsh words as byproducts of the intensity of the competitive environment. But the damage has been done—and that damage is often lasting.

If we’re committed to following and honoring Jesus Christ, we must take to heart James’ conclusion: “Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!” The Bible directs us to recognize the power of our words. Coaches have significant influence in the lives of athletes, and the way they speak is a huge part of exercising this influence. When we use our tongue in harmful ways, we need to repent, humbly ask for forgiveness, and resolve to use our words for good. In moments when we need to confront or correct an athlete, we seek to do so in ways that build up and treat him or her according to who they are in God’s eyes: created in his image and deeply loved by him.

Avoiding the “coaching foul” of misusing our tongue requires discipline. Earlier, James emphasizes the need to “keep a tight rein on our tongue” (James 1:26). Through the Lord’s enabling, we discipline ourselves so that our words serve his purposes rather than inflicting harm. This also requires vigilance. James uses this analogy: “A tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire”(James 3:5-6). If we’re not vigilant in “keeping a tight rein on our tongue” day by day, a few thoughtless words can cause a forest fire of damage and undermine our influence for Christ. But with Jesus’ help, we can speak in ways that honor him no matter what the situation.

Coach, don’t underestimate the power of your words. Resist the “foul” of misusing your tongue. Resolve to communicate in ways that are life-giving and Christ-glorifying. Commit to the daily discipline and diligence required to honor the Lord in how you speak.

For reflection: Confess to the Lord any ways your words have been harmful to others. Thank him that he can and will transform the way you speak as you rely upon his grace and power.